Discordian Association for Monster Neutralization

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Founded in 1995 by a man who calls himself "Beowulf Van Helsing-Froglick IV," it is believed (and hoped) that this "monster hunting society" is merely an elaborate joke. The Association’s official purpose is to "eliminate all monsters, except for those who are funny-looking and can be taught to dance." Its stated reason for wanting to destroy monsters is that "they're awfully tasty."

The BMA does not recognize the authority or existence of this organization, nor have there been any reports of its members actually fighting monsters. However, numerous (and often contradictory) printings of the Monster Hunting Guidelines and Cookbook have shown up in bookstores throughout America. In addition to recipes for leprechaun pie and a short play entitled "The Dance of the Hecklestimps," this book contains a wealth of poorly thought-out approaches to monster hunting--the favored weapon seems to be a spork--and elaborate initiation rituals. A supplementary book titled The Enemy, which details a technologically advanced, malevolent society of hyper-intelligent wombats, has recently been circulated on the internet and via email.

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